Episode 26

I Just Want To Love You


Jeanette Peterson 0:03

So I'm challenging you to think about what triggers you about somebody that you kind of like that you watch. You watch them for a reason, right? It's not because you don't like them. But why are they triggering to you?

You're listening to the unapologetically unstoppable podcast, it's about going deep into who you are made to be. And following that, no matter what, where your calling is in the front seat, and fear, well, it's trying to stop you. But fuck that guy, and getting the tools and tips to become an unstoppable. I'm your host, Jeanette Peterson, where not too long ago, I had to find my calling. Here, you'll hear from me and other online experts on how to discover your calling, the steps to make it happen, and how to monetize it. I believe when we're unapologetic about our calling, we become an unstoppable expansive force. So let's get started

Hey, girl, hey. So I did something that I don't do on the internet. And I want to tell you about it because not so you can do it because Gross who don't do that thing that I did. Don't do that. But because I want you to know that I am just a human. I know you know that. Right? I know, you don't hold me to some high regard or anything like that. But I just want to remind you that we're all just people. And that everybody just needs some grace and some love and some some space, right? Everybody is just human being trying to do the best that they can. With all their childhood traumas and rejection feelings and all those things that we all feel as human beings. I cried. Okay, I know that's not a big deal. But for me it is. I don't like crying. I was always told the crying is not something you do unless you have a reason to. Okay, you better get your butt whooped. So I was conditioned not to cry as a young child. And then because I'm very sensitive. And then I went to the military, and then that was a hard core. If you're crying, you're not strong, and you have to be strong to be in the military. You got to get to get a toxic, stereotypical stuff. Right. And I cry. And I didn't just like cry. I cried on Zoom. In front of people that I don't know. Okay, I know them, but I don't know them in person. I've only met one of them in person, and she's my partner, Alison. But it was like the most cathartic thing that I've ever done. And it wasn't the crime that was cathartic. It was the finally saying out loud. That I only feel worthy. When I do good works. Like I knew that right in my head, and I knew that in my brain. But when you're making a business, you want people to know that you're legit. You want people to know that you know the answers, you have the accolades that you are an important person. But I was going through this trigger exercise. And our coach was like, All right, you know, like, everybody gets triggered by something on Instagram.

What's the last thing you got triggered by and like, let's walk through what that was. And it was this girl who I I like and I was on one of her zoom meetings that she was holding for her, whatever. And I was like, I know all this stuff. I know all this stuff. I'm as good as her if not better. Like I feel like I More sassy and more relatable. And I'm not blonde and skinny and live in California. I'm just a regular good old chick from Georgia, right? Like people can get. Like, I feel like that's more relatable. So like, why is she got all these people hanging out with her and nobody hanging out with me? I mean, of course you guys are hanging out with me. But I was feeling less than because she's got XYZ number of followers, comparison was all up in my head. I know these things are wrong. But like I said, I'm human. It happened. And I was just like, in a zone of that. In one of the sisters that I have in the mastermind asked me an even deeper question about like, me feeling unworthy, and like proving my worth, and like, it was just really freeing. It was really freeing one, to say it out loud. And then to kind of cry about it. And then obviously, it turned off my camera because nobody wants to see anybody ugly cry like Kim Kardashian. So I turned off my camera, then my coach was like, Can you turn your camera back on.

Because almost like I want people to see the real me. But I didn't want them to see the real me you know what I mean? Like, I want you to see the real me the highlight reel, I want you to see my Instagram highlight reel, I don't want you to see the bad, yucky vulnerable parts of me. Who wants to show that I don't want you to see all the hard work that I've done to get to where I'm at. I don't want you to see this smiley, beautiful face on the other side.

And so when I turned back on my camera I, for the first time, honestly, felt seen. Like these people saw even the ugly parts of me, and they still loved me, which is not something that ever felt before. It is felt so good to know that I can just be me, which I've been preaching, obviously just be you. And people will love you. It's also hard to do, especially when I felt like I didn't love myself in that way. Because I would still never let myself cry. I would tell other people, it's okay to cry. I don't tell my daughter any of those things. I want her to know that it's okay to cry and to get her feelings out and to express emotion. But it's not okay for me. And now I've been in therapy for the last I don't know how many years probably 15 on and off. And I've worked through a lot of things. And this is one that I still struggle with. So I'm challenging you to think about what triggers you about somebody that you kind of like the you watch. You watch them for a reason, right?

It's not because you don't like them. But why are they triggering to you. And I would really challenge you to look deeper into what that trigger is and why you're having that. And I would love to work through this with you. Because I want you to feel the freeing feeling that I feel right now. And then after that I look back. And y'all know I love Jesus. So I'm back in the word and I found scriptures of why I am worthy of love why I can be myself and all the ugly parts of it

cuz that's hard. If you're anything like me, you've done some stupid things in your past and you've just like, buried them deep and pretended like they don't even exist, because that's what I like to do. Let's Let's hide the yucky forever and ever. And it was like I let them see a piece of my yuck. And then other people were sharing their yuck. And I could feel their pain and see and see in their eyes. How much they just wanted the same thing that I wanted. They just want to be loved for who they are flaws and all that a John Lennon song or something I don't know. But like, they just want love. And I want to be able to give that to you. I just want to love you.

So I challenge you to do that trigger exercise like I did. And just really think about what triggers you and why. And then once you write down that why write down why again, why that answer could be true. And then if you need to reframe, holler at your girl because I will tell you why it's not true. I will use head knowledge and biblical knowledge to tell you why That's not true. Because you are loved even if you don't feel like it right now. So girl, I will talk to you next week. But DME because I just want to love you. I just want to love you

oh my goodness. Now I know you're ready to take this to the next level. So what you need to do is go to Facebook join a community of bad ass unapologetically unstoppable women at the unapologetically unstoppable community. And you can find me on the grams at Jeanette dot Peterson or at Peterson and Belle. This podcast was created by me, Jeanette Peterson, and Allison Hartman Our producer is The Amy Williams. talk soon

Transcription provided by: www.theamywilliams.com

About the Podcast

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Unapologetically Unstoppable
Jeanette Peterson - Kingdom Business Coach & Speaker for Christian Women

About your host

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Jeanette Peterson

Jeanette Peterson is a United States Air Force Veteran, Mom, and Speaker. She is using her gifts for God's purpose; helping others become unapologetically unstoppable.