#31: Protect Your Heart

Jeanette Peterson 0:03

I need you to consciously take yourself out of situations that are harmful to you because you're not healed in that way yet, or you're healing from those types of things to protect your own heart. You will never be able to grow as a person if you don't protect your heart first.

Jeanette Peterson 0:32

you're listening to the unapologetically unstoppable podcast, it's about going deep into who you are made to be. And following that, no matter what, where your calling is in the front seat, and fear, well, it's trying to stop you. But fuck that guy, and getting the tools and tips to become unstoppable. I'm your host, Jeanette Peterson, where not too long ago, I had to find my calling. Here, you'll hear from me and other online experts on how to discover your calling, the steps to make it happen and how to monetize it. I believe when we're unapologetic about our calling, we become an unstoppable expansive force. So let's get started

Jeanette Peterson 1:37

Hey, girl, hey, I recently came home from my mother's house. And I realized something that I don't think that I actually knew before that the life that I have slowly been creating day by day. and becoming more close to God and the spiritual realm and just love that it takes intentionality to do that. My mom had major surgery, so went home for about a week and a half to be there with her before she had surgery and then be there with her after surgery to make sure she was healing good. And just be there to support her in whatever way that I could. I caveat this whole message by saying this is my personal perspective on things. And whatever I'm saying is out of love and not hate or anger, or any of that. Just saying that this is this is this is a genetic thing. Okay, this is genetic. So I went home, and they meaning her my sister have friends at the house, they both have a friend at the house. And I don't get along with their friends. Typically, I don't think I ever really have gotten along with their friends. I just don't. And when I went there, I didn't realize how controlling like how big control played a part in their lives like being controlled, having control losing control, controlling others. It was it was something that I have not realized ever having that's a generational thing. As as black Americans, there are certain ways of living that are ingrained in who we are as a people like systemic things, right. And I'm treading lightly as you can tell over the subject because I don't want to hurt people. Because that's not my intention. I want to talk about my reality and my observation and how I'm changing it for my life

Jeanette Peterson 4:46

and I didn't realize how much I had intentionally changed it. In my my attitude towards gratitude, and the intentionality was taught behind gratitude. and how much it has literally changed my life, like waking up every day and saying my gratitude online is not just for show, like, I don't do that for other people, I do that for me. I'm just bringing you into that part of my life. The more I recognize how much gratitude I have for life, people, things, everything, like literally everything. I realize how an normal that is how taboo that actually is. When I walked in, and I said to one of the friends, thank you so much for taking out the trash, I really appreciate it. And they scoffed at me, like I was making fun of them. And I was confused by that. Because the life that I have created, doesn't scoff at stuff like that. It's just like, they are actually like, receptive of praise. And thinks everything's not critical. It doesn't have to be. So I was just very, like, okay, cool. Like, you think that's different, whatever, let's just who I am as a person, I am just like in this like, hippy kind of love right now. Okay. Whatever. God says, Love, above all love, I'm trying to do all the love, okay, I'm trying to do the love. So I'm trying to love people, where they're at. And just be thankful for everything. It has nothing to do with how much money I make, or they make or whatever, I don't care. Like, I just want to be a more loving person than I have been in the past period. So I'm trying to, and I'm doing it every day. And so I've changed, I have changed a lot, I have changed a lot.

Jeanette Peterson 7:07

And I realized that they have not changed as much as I have, which is fine. I'm not judging them for that. They love their life, and I love that for them. But after a few days in that environment, I started to realize how different I was and how much I had changed it how much I don't fit in at all, I didn't fit in before. But now it's like, even more far removed because of the life that I've created. And it's I don't even know the word is it's it's it pains me almost I don't want to make suggestions for them to change. I mean, I do because I feel like everybody should have their best life. But then I'm not gonna push it either. So I feel that religion, I am a No BS, straight up God loving Christian. But I don't think that if I push it on you, you're gonna just catch it and be like, Okay, this is great. I'm not Hitler here. I can only show you by example. My life, walking the walk of what life is like for me, based on the things that I have changed. That's it. I can make you want to change. You can change if you want to. Don't really care if you do. I mean, I would love if you did, but can't make you.

Jeanette Peterson 8:46

So I had to leave. I had to leave. I left early. I couldn't take it anymore. It was affecting my mental health. I'm highly sensitive. I've been going through this period of opening myself up to feeling and I started feeling a lot. No, I'd be closed down to feeling anything. So I wouldn't feel love, anger. Anything. But now I'm feeling love so so abundantly, that I can also feel hate, anger, all the negative emotions. And I'm very sensitive to depression. So I had to leave as being depressed. I was drinking every day. What do I mean I drink but I don't drink every day I was drinking every day. It was just too much. I couldn't do it. I was drinking too much sleeping too much. I wasn't even being helpful at that point in time. I was like what am I doing here? This is not the life that I made for myself. I have to leave. I have to leave

Jeanette Peterson 9:50

and I hurt feelings or hurt my mom's feelings I hurt my sister's feelings because I had to leave

Jeanette Peterson: 10:04

But I wasn't leaving because I didn't like them or I didn't like their friends. It really had nothing to do with that, because I don't really know their friends, I just know that the effects that it was having on my life or not ones that I want to continue. I couldn't shake him, I was trying, I was trying to shake the effects, I couldn't do it. I have already set up an environment back home where I can shake them easier because I have certain things that I do in routines. And I was out of my place, I did my routines out of all my things. And I was just doing negative things. And I was being affected highly negatively. So I had to go, I had to go. I said, Mom, I have to leave. I'm sorry, I love you. But I have to go. This is affecting me greatly. I have to go. I've worked so hard years and years of therapy, currently on mental health drugs. Now. I don't, I know, I can see the triggers. Now. I'm at the point where I can see what's going to happen if I continue down this road. I've been down this road, I don't like it, I went down a new road. I like that one over there. And I'm starting to bow face, I can't do this, I got to get out of here. And I hurt some feelings.

Jeanette Peterson: 11:29

But God says above all, protect your heart. So I had to do that. And it had nothing to do with them. I didn't do it to hurt them. I didn't do it because I don't love them. I did it because I had to protect my own heart. And sometimes protecting my own heart means hurting other people. But I'm not hurting them to hurt them. I'm doing it to protect myself. I think that's that's one thing you have to remember is your heart posture matters. So seeing this generational trauma, play out in my family, and then coming home and knowing I'm looking at my girls sing the love that they have in their eyes and the joy. But I also know that that means that they're going to be hurt, they're going to hurt. I can't stop that from having to them, but I can help them through it and love them through it. And not be offended if they need to leave. It was hurting their heart. So I need you to think about the things that you know that people will get upset about. Because you're protecting your heart. I need you to consciously take yourself out of situations that are harmful to you because you're not healed in that way yet or you're healing from those types of things to protect your own heart. You will never be able to grow as a person. If you don't protect your heart first. I know this is a deep on y'all. But I'd love to know

Jeanette Peterson: 13:23

oh my goodness. Now I know you're ready to take this to the next level. So what you need to do is go to Facebook, join a community of bad ass unapologetically unstoppable women at the unapologetically unstoppable community. And you can find me on the grams at Jeanette dot Peterson or at Peterson and Belle. This podcast was created by me, Jeanette Peterson. And Allison Hartman. Our producer is The Amy Williams. we'll talk soon

Transcription provided by www.theamywilliams.com