The importance of having boundaries
It’s so easy to say no to do something good for others, but is it really good? Are your motives to look good for God or for man? In this episode, you’ll learn about [1:10] The importance of having boundaries. [3:34] How to define your boundaries. [5:33] You have to expand your capacity. [7:36] Setting boundaries with ourselves. [9:22] Establishing boundaries and self care. [11:28] Boundaries are a love thing.
Verses: Proverbs 4:23; Philippians 4:7; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20; 1 Peter 5:7; James 1:19-20
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Jeanette Peterson 0:01
When was the last time you said no? Do you have actual boundaries or just kind of boundaries? Do you want God's plan for your life? Do you want to discover your calling? Do you want to build a business that's aligned with God's will? Hey, girl, hey, I'm Jeanette. Business and faith coach. After a decade in the military, the Air Force said, See you later. And I had to find my true calling. Want to know how God directed my life from a cyber security engineer to a faith of business mentor? In this podcast, I'll teach you how to start a business. How to know your business is God's calling, monetization techniques, how to trust the Holy Spirit and how to set boundaries so listen to His word. Alone, ready to become unapologetically unstoppable.
Hey, girl, hey, you know something that I absolutely love. Is having boundaries. And some people might get thrown off by me having boundaries and they might not like that I have boundaries. And when I first started my boundaries, a lot of people asked me what was wrong with me and why I was being the way I was even people unfollow me and like, blocked me on Facebook, long term friends, like 25 year friends because I have boundaries. We know what feels good. Yeah, it feels good because you know what? Boundaries are just the things that you need to have, no matter what kind of boundaries they are, to protect your heart, to protect your peace, to make sure that you continuously have the peace of God. Now listen to me here. Jesus had tons of boundaries and that's why I love them so much because he reminds me that I can still love people. Love God, do the things I'm supposed to do for the kingdom and have boundaries. I can say no. Do things that I'm supposed to be doing. Say no and still have boundaries. And that makes me feel really, really good. Because there's one thing to have physical boundaries like locks on your doors and emotional boundaries over certain things, but the spiritual boundaries that you need to have especially when you're building a kingdom business, our re dick you love. I'm telling you, like once you start looking and seeing the things that I can see because I've I've broken the veil of life, if you will. I can see so many things that people are having boundaries around that are coming at them that is not from God, that are drawing them away from things in the name of quote unquote, good natured things. And it's taking them away from God. And really, it might look good to people but really you need to have boundaries around those things. Okay, so So the first thing we need to do is really defined our values and our sense of self and who we are and what is most important to us. And remember, what man says is good does not mean that it is from God and or is good. Just because it's legal, doesn't mean you should do it. Okay. And this is the part where you have to have been having a deep spiritual relationship with God before you can hear what he has to say to you. And that's when you get the discernment that's when you get convicted. That's when all the movement in your heart actually happens. It's not from just reading your Bible. It's about going deep, deep with God, deep into who he is and who you are and who he made you to be. It's about going deep. So the first thing you need to do is define those boundaries. You have to have clear objectives on what it is that you are doing, and why you're doing those things. So one of my favorite verses right now when it comes to things like this is Proverbs 423. Keep your heart with all vigilance for from it flows this spring of life. Because I know when I set those correct boundaries, the things that are great for me will flow. Just think about that, like a river has boundaries. It is not just this like water spurting all over it has deep boundaries and inside those boundaries of the river. You know what happens there life happens. Plants grow. Beavers grow. All sorts of things are enabled because of the boundaries of the river. So your heart has to be like that. Your heart has to have boundaries on the things that they will let in. Just because they seem good, right? Like flowing into a tree as a river. Seems good, right? But it's gonna take a lot of stuff. It's gonna take a lot of water from it although trees are good. I'm not saying trees are bad. You aren't the one to build the tree. Okay, you might have the capacity to just water, one plant. Maybe it's just a dandelion. I don't know what your thing is. You have to work on your capacity before you're just overflowing with everything you can't do that you have to like temporary your, your thing you have to be able to grow in that. The first time you ate an entire pizza, you couldn't do it. That just mean this means they can eat an entire pizza. I'm just saying the first time you attempted it, it didn't work. And then if you kept trying eventually it did work. And that's what you got to do is stretch your stomach. heart muscles, okay. You got to stretch it out. It's so the best thing about having boundaries is because you become a healthier person. You can have better relationships with others. You have clear expectations, you know exactly what's going to happen. I have boundaries y'all. And some people don't like them in even they talk mess about them. Right. So I lived in Vegas and I live very far from the airport and my family lives in Atlanta, and the only flights available were red eyes. And I've got kids, little kids. So you know I told my my family when they came to visit me catch an Uber. I will not come get you from the airport. Catch an Uber. They did not like it. But guess who was catching the Uber? They were they were still mad about it talking to us. I said I'll pay for it. I just can't come get you. These are my boundaries. If you're coming and your flight is after 10pm I will not be at the airport. I'm just not going to do it. I still love you. I still want the best thing for you. I don't want anything to happen to you while you're down there. But I have kids and I am not going to leave them on a weekday because my husband's working like it's just not gonna happen. I cannot do that. So they took an Uber. They were mad but they took an Uber. Sometimes you got to do that and you got to be prepared for them to be mad at you but don't lose sight of what's important to you because you're walking in God's footsteps. Okay. And I love that we also have to set boundaries with ourselves. Recently I went to my my husband's family's house in law's house. I don't know why that worked so hard for me to say like it was just like a concept that was I don't know anyway, I went to my in laws house and I need time with Jesus. I'm a very, like I need quiet time. I'm a person that does not like high touching. High talking. I like quiet. I could sit in the cave all day. That is me by myself. I will do that. Give me a jigsaw puzzle and a light. I will be there for hours days on end and be perfectly fine. Okay. Don't check on me. I will be good. But there's a lot of people in the house there's a lot of things happening and I was just too overwhelmed. It was overstimulated with the amount of people, the places were going and the things all the nouns, people places, things, ideas, all the things I was too overwhelmed with them. And I didn't have my time with Jesus. So I had to sit in the closet, the laundry room actually on the floor and like get some like grounding in Jesus time. Because I have boundaries. I cannot do it. And so the longer we were there, the longer my boundaries were getting pushed like the like the stomach analogy there the longer I was there the longer I had to like, do my breathing. And by the time I got home, I was so far out of whack out of my own boundaries that I had to like, go deep back into the scriptures and being grounded in my faith and being grounded and all the things because I was so far removed I felt so far away from God at that point. So you have to have an established his boundaries. Because you have to stand for you have to be firm in but you have to be compassionate obviously, but maintaining our boundaries encourages self care and you know, I like I said I needed support. But I know that when I cast all my anxieties on him, he's got me one Peter five, seven. I do that all the time. Let's go. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own you are bought with a price. So glorify God in your body, which means I have boundaries about what I put in my body. I'm doing whole 30 ketto ish, no drinking, because I I want my whole body to be the best version of itself. Putting boundaries around the things I put in my body for God. Because I felt like when I was drinking, no, no knock. Anybody who drinks this is not because I think that you shouldn't drink if you're a Christian. That's not what this is. This is for me. Jeanette Peterson. When I was drinking, I would wake up and feel like I'm not on my ageing. I'm not doing the things that I need to be doing for the kingdom because I'm too busy. being slow today. My body doesn't feel like a well oiled machine. I don't like the way this feels. I'm gonna take this out. And sometimes it has to happen. And it could be for you milk maybe it's milk. Maybe it's cheese. I hope it's actually well loved. But who knows what it is for you because you need to have boundaries around what you're putting in your body because of that.
Maybe it's smoking cigarettes. I used to do that too. I used to do a lot of things I don't do anymore because I have been slowly changing the way that I am for God. It did not all hope it happened overnight. That's not what I'm telling you to do. I'm not saying that you are going to be a bad Christian. I'm not a great one either. But I'm just saying that's not what this is. When it's time for you to start moving in the way that God is directing your feet you will want to change. It's going to be something that you decide to do because you love God. There's no fear involved. There's only love. It's only a love thing. So remember, boundaries are about love. Having those healthy boundaries and getting the tools you need to establish and maintain those boundaries will set you have for life for success with God for life for all the things and it will make better relationships with your children, with your people. You work with everybody. Okay? So just know that also, side note boundaries at work. are a real thing, y'all real thing. I have got strict boundaries around when I work, how I work. When I respond to things. That's a big one when I respond to things because I'm not just there for everybody whenever somebody text me, or DMS me or sends me an email, it doesn't work like that. Because I'm not on somebody else's time. I'm on my time. And my time says I am with my kids right now and I'm not doing whatever it is you need me to do right now. It's just not happening. Because I have boundaries. I have strict times. I have time blocking in my schedule when I'm working when I'm not working and what I'm doing. So I need you guys to remember that we have boundaries for God. It's not just for us. It's for God. So I'm gonna leave you guys with this one. James 119 20 know this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let every person be quick to hear. Slow to Speak. slow to anger. The anger of man and woman does not produce the righteousness of God. God is love. Anger out of malice is not love there's a difference. Wow, that was so good. So I know that you know somebody that also needs to hear that. So share this episode, leave a review. And I would love if you could watch my free workshop at Jeanette peterson.com/missing Peace. I'll see you guys over on the Grahams at Jeanette Peterson bye