#20: What do you believe about yourself?

Jeanette Peterson 0:04

We can't be unapologetic if we keep telling ourselves that we're not smart enough? Or we're not pretty enough, or we're not eloquent enough to be on a podcast, or we're not pretty enough to be on a YouTube video. And to be quite honest with you, nobody actually cares.

Jeanette Peterson 0:32

You're listening to the unapologetically unstoppable podcast, it's about going deep into who you are made to be. And following that, no matter what, where your calling is in the front seat, and fear, well, it's trying to stop you. But fuck that guy, and getting the tools and tips to become an unstoppable. I'm your host, Jeanette Peterson, where not too long ago, I had to find my calling here, you'll hear from me and other online experts on how to discover your calling, the steps to make it happen, and how to monetize it. I believe when we're unapologetic about our calling, we become an unstoppable expansive force. So let's get started.

Jeanette Peterson 1:35

Hey, girl, hey. So I was thinking about those things, we tell ourselves that we're not good enough. We aren't. Whatever, whatever, whatever. I don't want to say them out loud. Because I'm working on it. Right? I need you to work on it too. Because those things that we tell ourselves are deeply rooted in either pain or a traumatic situation or something like that. And we got to get over those things. I mean, like, we actually have to get over these things. We can't just keep saying the same things about ourselves. And when somebody tells us something, why don't we believe it? There is a big period of time when my husband is telling me that I was beautiful, and I refuse to believe him. So then I taught him how to stop telling me that I was beautiful. And I wanted him to tell me that I was beautiful, just so I could tell him to stop telling me those beautiful is that crazy? That is crazy. But do we all do that? Yes, we do. We do. Why do we do that? I think it's time for us to have some positive affirmations about ourselves. Especially the things that we don't like about ourselves.

Jeanette Peterson 2:55

I was trying to explain to my husband last night what it was like, going through I'm going through his PTSD, trauma, therapy, whatever we're going through. So I was explained to him what it was like, and it's basically like, think of a thing that's scary to you. Like, if you're afraid of heights, it's like standing on the roof. And like without a net, or of hardness or anything, looking over the edge. And then telling yourself that you're safe. And then letting go and telling yourself that you're safe. And that you're okay, and then everything's gonna be fine and safe and you're fine, you're safe, and you're fine. And you have to like continue to tell yourself this to rewire your brain that these things are true. etc, etc, right? And then, like almost being on the verge of a panic attack, like it is not, it's not fun or easy. It's, it's hard, it sucks. And then and then being like No, wait a second. I am safe, I am loved. I am safe. I am loved, and then actually starting to believe it.

Jeanette Peterson 4:19

So what is one thing that you tell yourself about yourself? That you're not smart enough? Is it that you're not good enough? Is it that you're not old enough or wise enough or have enough information? All of those things that we tell ourselves is just BS. It's a way to keep us from living our full potential. We can't be unapologetic if we keep telling ourselves that we're not good enough. We can't be unapologetic if we keep telling ourselves that we're not smart enough. Or we're not pretty enough or we're not eloquent enough to be on a podcast or we're not pretty enough to be on a huge Do video. And to be quite honest with you, nobody actually cares. Nobody cares if you're pretty enough or you have the straightest teeth or you can speak the clearest 99% of the people don't actually care about the things they actually care about, you have to say, the content of your character and the content of what you're delivering over these nuances that we tell ourselves that I have to have x, y and z like this and has to be perfect. Otherwise, they're gonna think I'm not a professional, and then they're not gonna like me, and then nobody's gonna buy anything from me. False. Stop telling yourself that, why? Why do you care about that? I can tell you, I don't care about that. I bought $27 products, and I bought $2,700 A month products some of them were packaged really nicely. Some of them weren't packaged at all. Some of them the person was had no makeup on, and a really bad camera. But she was a genius. So I listened to her. Some of them were over fluffed, like, I don't need all this extra stuff. Just give me the meat.

Jeanette Peterson 6:26

Okay, I just need to know exactly what you're saying to me. So I can learn and move on with my life. Instead of you doing all this extra stuff. That's not important. That's just me thing. I'm like, let me just get down to the brass tacks function over fashion, let's go. But if your niche is graphic design, it's gotta look good. I mean, like that guy to look good. But I don't do graphic design. That is not my strong point. That is not my suit. I wore a uniform for 11 years. And then after that, I had my sister dress me. And then after that I had Stitch Fix. I'm not fashion and colors and things like that is just not my zone. That's not my zone of genius. And what are the we have to be good at everything? I got the military. I was like, I have to know how to dress. I have to know this. I have to know that. I don't actually what happened to this? This jack of all trades, master of none thing? Why do we have to do that? No, just master one. Be the master of your domain. And higher up for the rest of it. I am not good at cooking. I take that back. I'm actually pretty good at cooking. I can't stand cooking. I don't like to do it. It is not a thing for me. The only time that I will actually get in the kitchen and cook is if I have a wild hair on my butt. Excuse my southern euphemisms or I to holidays, I will cook on holidays. I enjoy cooking nowadays because I feel like I was just fun. Everybody's getting together and sharing and fellowshipping and I like that every day just cooking a meal. I'm not bound down. Please don't make me do that. No, thank you.

Jeanette Peterson 8:27

But I had been telling myself in this I was in like about a depression. I also suffer from depression. So I was like going through this like, really bad era of depression. And I'm really good at cooking dessert, specifically desserts, pies, crock pots, anything used you do it, you set and leave in the oven, and then you come back to it. I'm good at those things. You gotta make a dish up on the flying not good at that. It's very specific instructions that you do and you put in the event and you're good at it or you just dump a whole bunch of stuff in a crock pot. I'm good with those things very good. And normally I would say comes up tasting just great actually. When you're I burnt the pie.

Jeanette Peterson 9:13

And I'm like a pie from scratch. Kind of Girl like cut the apples like make the dough, like the whole nine yards. And I burnt burnt it like bad. And I had a panic attack. And then when another pi ms that went up to it it was because I had been telling myself for so long that I can't trust myself that the things that I'm doing aren't right. And so of course they were manifesting in my life that way. Of course they were so the more you continue to tell yourself you're not good at something or you suck at this or it's okay I just suck at this. Stop telling yourself that You can say, You know what, this is hard for me. That can be true for a small beard. You know what, I don't like doing this because this is hard for me. Cool, let's work on hard things. We can do hard things hard things are achievable. They are so a thing we can do. They're not impossibilities, they are hard things. But we are humans. And you know what is hard? Becoming a human is hard. Okay, first of all becoming a human is are you being that little sperm into the egg, I'm gonna be a graphic here, sorry, because you're listening. That is hard. So the fact that you're listening to my podcasts means you have done a lot of hard things in your life to get to the point that you're at now. So if you can do that many hard things, and you know, you're gonna do something else that's hard. And or, if you know, in your heart of hearts, that is not your jam. Trade services with somebody, find somebody who's really good at that and say, Look, I'm really good at x. Can you come do Z for me? We're gonna trade. And we'll just pay somebody that's also an option. It depends on what your cash flow. Like, that's not my business. I'm just saying these are options. These are options. So you don't know who cooks for me and my husband. You know what, I give him hugs. I pay him and hugs and compliments. I tell him every day how good his food is, because it is good. I tell him how much I love them because I do and I give him lots of hugs. And then I cook on holidays. That's like my contribution. He's okay with that. We have we're now have like a symbiotic relationship where he does the cook and I do the kitten, which is fine. We're the kids, I make sure they're good to go. Pay them, clothe them, yada, yada, yada. He does cook. And I enjoy that. And he enjoys it. He actually likes cooking. So stop telling yourself that you're not good at something. Okay, I need you to I need you to listen to this real quick. These are the things I need you to do. I need you journalists.

Jeanette Peterson: 12:24

What have I been telling myself? I'm not good at? How can I reframe it into a true statement. So like mine was, I was telling myself I'm not good at cooking. Not actually, I'm not I'm actually good at cooking. I'm decent, I can make meals. But I don't like to cook. So my reframe is. And this is gonna be positive reframe. I love cooking for the holidays. I am good at cooking for the holidays. I am really good at cooking desserts. I'm really good at cooking in the crock pot. So I don't want to say I'm a bad cook. Because that's not all the way true. Let's say let's say it was I'm not good at Tech. This is another one that's kind of this is all me, I'm just talking about me. My thing is it's not that I'm not good at Tech. There are things in my life preventing me from doing tech, but I'm really really good at being unapologetically unstoppable, I can figure it out. It might take me a little bit longer, but that's okay. I also know a lot of tech people. I also know people that are really good and enjoy tech. So I like to trade services with those folks. And or have them come in and pay them. They're where they're worth. They're expensive tank really expensive, by the way. So what are you telling yourself you're not good at? And let's reframe that. Because we can't be unapologetic. If we're telling ourselves that we suck at things. We got to work through that girl.

Jeanette Peterson: 14:14

Let's work through that.

Jeanette Peterson: 14:21

Oh my goodness. Now I know you're ready to take this to the next level. So what you need to do is go to Facebook join a community of bad ass unapologetically unstoppable women at the unapologetically unstoppable community. And you can find it in the grams at Jeannette dot Peterson or at Peterson and Belle. This podcast was created by me, Jeanette Peterson, and Allison Hartman Our producer is The Amy Williams. Talk soon

transcription provided by: www.theamywilliams.com