Episode 89

#89: You can’t solve a problem you’re not willing to have

Denying and ignoring a negative or traumatic event is a coping mechanism,necessary to a point, but it can end up affecting your life in a very deep way if left unresolved. Join Jeanette as she talks about the importance of acknowledging and admitting a problem in order to make space for healing and for positive changes. Tune in!

Your brain is constantly seeking to protect you, that means it will constantly scan for danger, which is a healthy process because it keeps you safe, however, when you have gone through an unpleasant situation, your brain can get stuck there and it can be very hard to find moments of peace and relaxation. Have you found yourself looking for the negative, expecting a tragedy or simply thinking that there is nothing good available to you? 

Operating from that place can result in negative emotions like anger, resentment, skepticism, and a lack of trust in others and in yourself, but there are things you can do to change that. In this episode you'll learn the first step you need to take to move your focus to healthier thoughts and start fostering positive thinking and ultimately, shift your whole perspective and start engaging with the world in a more positive way. 

In this episode:

  • Denial and the perpetuation of negative effects.
  • Understanding the first step towards healing and positive changes.
  • Negative beliefs and other consequences of traumatic events can be challenged and changed.
  • How to detach from a problem while acknowledging that you need to work on it.

"You can't solve a problem until you're willing to have it."

"Admitting to yourself and others is the first step towards growth and change."

"Your brain is trying to show you danger always, but you also want to see life and love."

"Name that problem, so you can start to heal from that journey."

"Changing your narrative and thoughts can change your reality."

Wanna go deeper?

Watch the Free Webinar THE MISSING PIECE HERE: https://unapologeticallyunstoppable.captivate.fm/missingpiece

Connect on the grams https://instagram.com/jeanette.peterson

Find Your Spiritual Gifts QUIZ https://unapologeticallyunstoppable.captivate.fm/quiz

Download your 40 powerful prayers here: https://www.jeanettepeterson.com/prayers


Hey, girl, hey, I'm Jeanette. Business and faith coach. After a decade in the military, the Air Force said, See you later. And I had to find my true calling. Want to know how God directed my life from a cyber security engineer to a faith and business mentor? In this podcast, I'll teach you how to start a business. How to know your business is God's calling monetization techniques, how to trust the Holy Spirit and how to set boundaries so listen to His word alone, ready to become unapologetically unstoppable.

Trigger warning, I may say some things that may make some people uncomfortable. But there are no details. So feel free to click off if you need to. Hey, girl, hey, do you ever forget that you have a problem? Or ignore it? Do you ever feel like I can't admit that this thing happened because then it will be real. I did that. I did that for about 10 years, a decade, I didn't want to actually acknowledge that I was sexually assaulted, didn't want to. Because then if I did, then that would mean that I was a victim and that I had to cry all the time. And all these things I made up in my head about what victims of something like that is right. And I judged myself, because I didn't want to be that person. And I suddenly judge everybody else that had gone through something. I was like, Nope, that's not me, I'm too strong for that. That didn't happen to me. And if I deny it long enough, then you will not be able to affect me. Which is completely false. In business, sometimes I think we're like, I'm going to pretend like I'm making money. Because if I say that I'm making money, I don't have to worry about everything else. That's false. You can't solve a problem until you're willing to have it until you're willing to admit that something is wrong, you will never heal from it, or fix the problem. When I first started going through PTSD therapy for the S T, I was like, that didn't happen to me. It didn't like I it was like vague like that That couldn't have actually happened. Like I don't want to admit to myself, or anybody else, I don't even want to say that I didn't even want to write it on a piece of paper, until you're willing to write it down on a piece of paper that nobody else has to see, then you're not going to be able to grow or change the things that are happening in your life that are an effect of that. So the effects that I was having were, I was angry, I was hateful, I was resentful. I was skeptical. I was untrusting of so many people. And then also I had these stuck points. And a set point is something that I can't get out of my mind that it has to be true, because our mind is always trying to prove to us that things are true, right? So my set point was, I can never fully depend on a man period camp. Because if I do, then they will leave me they will, they will hurt me, they will abuse me, they will not be a good person for me, they will always be bad, it's gonna use a different word, they'll always be bad, they will never love me. And they will always cheat on me. And that's truth. In my mind, that was truth. That was things I had seen growing up from different relationships that my parents had been in, or people that were close to me. So I believed that that was true. Everybody that I'm every woman that I knew, was fully dependent on a man for financials and other things. And because of that, they stuck through some really bad times. And I knew that if I depended on man, that that was going to happen to me too. In my mind, it was I saw the hypothesis. Those things were true. So x plus y equals not my life not doing that. But that isn't always true. And I didn't think about the exception to the rule, and that I was living out the exception and not the rule. I was seeing the exception. When you start looking for the exception. That's all you're gonna see. But then, when I was going to therapy, and I started looking for the rule, I started seeing good relationships. I started seeing happy families, I started seeing how God loves people, and how people can love others, like God loves us, right? So I was like, Okay, maybe the step point is not true. But I'm not going to find out won't be me will not be me. But I had to because I couldn't live in a life where I felt like I was being taken. I was on the other side. Now I was always being taken advantage of because of my income or because of whatever. So it's sabotage myself. I would on purpose, gain a bunch of weight so that way people will leave me because I thought that if if I was to gotten away with love me. Crazy, crazy thoughts that my brain was having. Until I learned that I need to face these things, and they don't have to be true unless I want them to be. I can change my narrative, I can change the thoughts in my head, I can change my reality. But I had to start looking for them. And I had to be 100% looking for them constantly. Because if I was looking for something else, my brain would always be like, nope, see, look, you're wrong. Nope. See, look, look right here. That's what your brain is trying to do. Your brain is trying to show you danger always. Which is good, right? You want to see danger. But I also want to see life and love, and all those positive things. Because I don't want to live in anxiety. I don't want to live on the edge anymore. I want to live in a place full of abundance and just overflow. And if all I'm looking for is scarcity, that's all I'm gonna see. If all I'm looking for is hate. That's all I'm gonna see. But when I start looking for love when I start pointing it out and saying like, Oh, no, that is love right there might not be big, it might not be huge, but this little thing right here is love. So I had a first of all, find the problem. Name it. Claim it not as mine, but it's something that I'm going through. It is not me is this situation I'm having and then move on from that. So I hope and today's message that you are willing to solve a problem because you're willing to point it out. You're willing to name it today. So name that problem, so you can start to heal from that journey. Wow, that was so good. So I know that you know, somebody that also needs to hear that. So share this episode, leave a review. And I would love if you could watch my free workshop at Jeannette peterson.com/missing piece. I'll see you guys over on the Grahams at Jeannette dot Peterson bye

About the Podcast

Show artwork for Unapologetically Unstoppable
Unapologetically Unstoppable
Jeanette Peterson - Kingdom Business Coach & Speaker for Christian Women

About your host

Profile picture for Jeanette Peterson

Jeanette Peterson

Jeanette Peterson is a powerhouse, United States Air Force Veteran, that has been successfully mentoring, empowering, and inspiring women. She helps them turn their businesses into their ministries.

After leaving the military, she had a lot of learning to do. She learned about herself, her gifts, and what she was created for. She knew her next job had to be for God. She knew she had to have the creator of the Universe as her CEO. She prayed and partnered with God.

As a mentor and speaker, Jeanette knows that your divine purpose is unique and only for you. When you walk in purpose you will no longer feel shame or pain, but joy, peace, and love.

It's time to live unapologetically unstoppable!

Jeanette Peterson